Five Years of Peace
by Takada Saiko
Summary: A set of oneshots spanning from Tony's return to Earth up to the point that the team comes asking for help with time travel. Five years of marriage. Five years of family. Five peaceful(ish) years. Endgame spoilers. Pepperony. Not necessarily in chronological order.
1. Home

**Part One: Home**

**Summary: **It's Tony's birthday and Pepper has a surprise for him.

* * *

He had never handled things in a particularly healthy manner. By the time that Pepper had fallen into the job as his personal assistant, Tony had been well on his way to partying and drinking his life away. His avoidance climbed to new heights with each passing year right up until he was attacked and taken prisoner in Afghanistan. They'd gotten him back, but Pepper had watched in horror as her playboy boss' recklessness shifted and that laser focus of his that he usually reserved for Stark Industry designs focused on a new project: keeping those designs out of the hands of terrorists. He'd called her on it when she'd tried to stop him, and Pepper had found herself on a roller coaster of a ride as he tried to navigate all new depths of chaos in the life that no one - least of all her - could have predicted.

There had been at least one thing that had remained constant through it all. Tony had always thrown himself into his work to avoid focusing on the pain. He used it to push forward, but when it came to processing it, that's where he hit a snag. The closer they had grown, the more he'd let her see the internal turmoil that he faced the deeper he got into all of this, and Pepper had learned when to push and when not to. For the most part. Every situation was a little different, because how could you compare terrorists to aliens to a killer robot of your own design?

But he had always fought through it. Always forced himself to move forward. Until now.

Tony slept more these past few days than she had ever known him to sleep before. The doctors said he was recuperating. Over twenty days in space with barely any food or water - and all of it gone by the time they'd been found - low oxygen, and injured on top of all of it… it was no wonder he wasn't bouncing back immediately. She shouldn't expect it they had told her, and she didn't. The problem was that she knew him, and while yes, he was recuperating, Pepper could see the weight crushing the man she loved. He thought he'd failed. He'd traveled light years away to face the demon that had haunted him for the last six years and Thanos had won. Tony could - and would - rail against Steve Rogers until his legs gave out under him and he crashed to the floor, but in the end he blamed himself for what happened. Somewhere along the way he had become one of the most responsible people she knew, even when it wasn't his responsibility to shoulder, and it was stealing him away from her all over again.

A soft sound escaped him and drew Pepper's attention. He was curled up on his side, eyes squeezed shut and fighting the sheets he had managed to tangle himself up in. He tossed and turned, wrapping himself up tighter, and she started across the space of their bedroom to stop him before he managed to hurt himself.

"Hey," she called quietly. "Tony? Babe? You need to wake up."

She'd made the mistake of simply reaching out before. One time she'd found herself face to face with one of his suits and, more recently, he'd lashed out in his sleep. He hadn't hurt her. He hadn't had the strength to at that point, but the horrified look in those dark eyes had broken her heart. She'd held onto him for the rest of the night as he curled into her, shaking and broken.

Carefully she reached forward, speaking in low and gentle tones as she did. His eyes snapped open before her fingers brushed against his shoulder. He looked up at her, his expression haunted for just a moment, and she wondered if he had been stuck back on that alien planet with Peter Parker melting away in his arms. His eyes were glassed over and he blinked rapidly as if fighting the tears. "Hey, Pep," he managed, voice rough.

"Hey."

He shifted and seemed to realized just how tangled he'd become in the sheets. She helped him find his way out so that he could move over and give her room to sit with him. Pepper reached forward and ran her fingers through sweat-dampened hair, hovering just a moment over the flecks of grey starting to show. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his temple.

Tony sighed and reached up to grope blindly for her hand. "What time is it?" he manage.

"Just past noon."

He made a small sound of acknowledgment and settled a little deeper into his pillows. Pepper felt the frown tug at her lips as continued to run her hand through his hair in a soothing fashion. "You want some lunch?"

"Not hungry," he huffed, eyes slipping shut.

"You didn't eat breakfast either." He didn't answer and Pepper finally stopped the motion. There was being patient and there was letting him continue to waste away into nothing.

That drew his attention. "Hey, hey? Don't stop. Feels good."

"You need to get up."

"Doctor told me to rest."

"This isn't rest, Tony. This is you refusing to face the world."

He snorted, but didn't bother to look up. "I'm tired, Pep."

"Fine," she grumbled and pulled away. She was halfway to standing when his hand snapped out, snatching her wrist and she found a set of dark eyes fixed on her.

"Don't go. Just… lay down with me for a little bit?"

She watched him watching her. He was in a bad place, and she didn't want to make it worse. Either by pushing too far too fast or by not pushing at all. She pulled in a steadying breath. "On two conditions." She watched his dark brows draw together in question. "First, you'll eat some lunch in another hour or so."

"I think I can manage that." His look turned skeptical. "Second?"

"You know what tomorrow is?"

"Hon, I don't know what _today_ is."

She found herself smiling very slightly at that. "May 29th."

"Is it?"

"It is."

"Does that mean I get to pick what we do tomorrow?"

That pulled a soft laugh from her and she inched down on the bed, half lying next to him. "Second condition."

"Here it comes."

"You get out of bed tomorrow. We have breakfast, maybe even get out of the house."

He cringed at that. "I don't know…"

Pepper sighed, starting to get up, but he pulled her back down. "Wait, wait wait. Okay. You win."

"Do I?"

"Yeah. Lunch in an hour and I'll… we'll do something. Your call."

"Really?" she asked sweetly, leaning over him and trying to pull a smile out of him. Pepper felt a small spark of triumph when she saw the corners of his lips twitch up and she leaned down, pressing a kiss to them.

"Really," he promised against her.

"I'm holding you to that," she warned him as she settled in next to him, curled into his side. A soft, tired chuckle escaped him, but he didn't argue with her. It was something, and she'd take every little win she could hold onto.

* * *

Pepper didn't cook often, but when she did it was to die for. He hadn't even known she was capable of cooking until a couple years earlier and she'd teased him saying that if he'd known all along he would have added it to the list of her duties when she'd worked for him. Not that she'd been wrong about that.

She didn't particularly like to cook, so the fact that Tony woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs the next morning was enough to pique his curiosity. He sat up slowly, and when the usual wave of dizziness was replaced by a rare pang of hunger, he remembered his promise he'd made to her the afternoon before. He'd made good on lunch and it looked like he might even manage to make it down to breakfast. Well, she'd been worried that he wasn't putting weight back on. This was how you fixed it.

He moved slowly, careful to hover close enough to solid objects that he could use to keep himself from falling over. The real trick was going to be navigating the stairs. Steep and narrow, at least there was a railing from their bedroom down to the living room below. Tony held on, taking them one at a time, and inched his way down until he reached the bottom one, finally loosing a breath as he rounded down the hall and towards the kitchen.

Pepper had her back to him, still dressed in a pair of sleeping shorts and one of his t-shirts, socks covering her feet for the cool May morning. She had two skillets going - bacon sizzling in one and he could only assume eggs in the other - and she moved to flip pancakes on the grill she had to the side. Tony leaned a shoulder against the wide door frame leading into the kitchen and quietly watched her cook. For the first time since he'd been brought back to Earth, he let himself revel in the fact that she was still here. He'd lost a lot. They'd all lost a lot, but she was there waiting for him to come home. He didn't think he would have made it this far without her.

She turned, jumping a little when she caught sight of him out of the corner of her eye. "Hey. Look at you up and moving."

"Promised you, didn't I?"

Pepper echoed the small smile he'd managed for her and started dishing some of the food onto two plates. "You also promised me no more surprises before jumping on an alien spaceship."

"Yeah, well…" A rough chuckle left him and he found himself sliding down the door frame, taking a fairly controlled seat on the wood floor beneath him. His fiancée turned, a worried expression flashing across her face, and he waved her off as he braced his back against the frame. "I never realized how comfortable our floor is… Let's eat here."

He watched as the worried melted away into amusement and she shook her head, rolling her eyes a little as she turned to get the plates. "You're really not getting up, are you?"

"Nope. It's my birthday and I'm claiming at least one choice today."

"Pretty sure gravity got you there first."

"Shh. My choice."

"Sure it is." Pepper handed him his plate and he balanced it on his bent knees. At least he wasn't shaking as badly as he had been lately. That seemed like a step in the right direction.

She joined him on the floor and started in. The more he ate, the sturdier he felt, and finally he risked a look over at her. "So what do you have planned today?"

"I thought maybe we could look at dates."

"Dates?"

He received a longsuffering look for the question. "Wedding dates."

"Right. Right…" He shoveled a half fork of eggs into his mouth.

"Are you rethinking it?"

His gaze snapped up and he nearly dropped the plate. "What? No. I just…" He pulled in what he hoped would be a steadying breath, trying to catch hold of all the thoughts and emotions that were slamming around inside of him like they'd been caught in a cyclone. "I wanna marry you, Pep, more than anything but I just… " he managed, wincing as the words left him. "It's too soon. Maybe in a couple months…."

"Okay." Her voice was gentle and he felt her fingers brush his hand, taking the precarious plate from it and setting it down along with hers. "That's okay."

"No it's not."

She squeezed his hand. "It is. People we thought would be there won't be. It's okay that that's hard. It _is_ hard."

He looked up and turned his hand over in hers so that their fingers laced together.

"We're just going to need to push it back more than a couple months."

Tony blinked hard. "Why would we need to -?" A smile had broken through, despite the heaviness of the conversation, and there was a glint of mischief in her eyes. He was missing something that she thought should be really obvious. Maybe it should be. "What?"

"You are so smart to be so oblivious sometimes," she teased and shifted her weight, rocking forward on her knees and kissing him. "We're pregnant."

"Huh?" Pepper's laugh cut through everything and Tony reached up, a hand against her face. "Pregnant? We're going to…?"

"I've been trying to find the right time to tell you."

"When did you find out?"

"When you were gone," she said softly, and there was an edge of pain to her voice that reminded him that while he'd been suffering worlds away, she had been left here wondering if he'd ever come home to her. He'd been gone, possibly dead. Even when he'd come back he'd been a ghost of the man she'd known. He'd been drowning under his own pain and hadn't stopped to think about hers. She had needed him and he'd been selfish, even if that had never been his intention. He knew it now. There wasn't any excuse. It was time to get out of his own head. He couldn't bring the people they'd lost back, but he could be there for the ones he still had. For Pepper, and for their kid. He would be there for them.

Tony pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it, a lopsided smile tugging at him. "Told you I had that dream."

"I _knew_ you were going to bring that up!" she laughed, swatting at him.

"I did. You didn't believe me, but I was _right_."

"You're never going to drop that, are you?"

"Nope." He squeezed her hand before releasing it, reaching for his plate to start back in. He could almost feel Pepper's approval at the choice. "So," he said around a piece of bacon, "I can't promise I'll make it very far and Happy won't have to come pick us up in his golf cart, but what do you say to Central Park?"

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"That sounds like a good day. We could use one of those."

"Yep. Maybe a few more on the way."

She nudged his foot with hers. "Happy birthday, Tony. It's good to have you home."

* * *

**Notes**: There were two things I desperately needed after seeing Endgame: One was for Tony to live and the other was those five years we were so cruelly robbed of. I just wrapped a short fic called Always Been You that brings Tony back (check it out if you haven't read it!), and since I don't have any real faith that Disney will add Pepperony to their Disney+ lineup of (utterly amazing looking) shows, I'm doing the thing.

Do I have time? No, but I can't stop myself.

I have no idea how often I'll update this little series. I have several ideas and there may be long breaks while I work on my original writing, but I couldn't shake this idea any more than I could my Tony lives AU. That's what I do. That's my jam. I bring back my favs.

I can't promise that the muse will strike, but I will definitely take requests for this series. I have a list of ideas started. Just drop me a line if you have something you'd like to see and I'll see what I can do :)


	2. Simple

Summary: Tony and Pepper's wedding and... okay. So he's not _quite_ done with surprises yet.

**Part Two: Simple**

Bigger did not always mean better when it came to Pepper Potts. That was a lesson that Tony had struggled with over the years. She ran Stark Industries and was engaged to him. That was more chaos than most people would be willing to put up with, so when she told him that she wanted a simple, quiet wedding Tony had done his best not to let his ever-active imagination run away with him. He liked flashy. He liked showy, but he'd made a conscious effort to remember that it really wasn't about what he wanted or how he was used to doing things. This was about the woman he loved saying yes and being willing to put up with his shenanigans for the rest of their lives together. She hadn't asked for much, but she'd been clear: close friends, no media, and simple. Had she stressed simple? If she hadn't, _simple_.

Then Thanos' goons had shown up in the middle of New York - again - and Tony had hopped a ride to another galaxy to fight the demon that had haunted him for so long. He'd fought and he'd lost, and nothing seemed simple anymore. Everywhere he looked he saw the scars left behind, the lives snapped out of existence. Friends that would have made it onto their shortlist for the wedding were gone forever, all because they couldn't beat the Titan back. He'd tried. He'd nearly died for it, but he hadn't been strong enough. Not to beat Thanos and not to save the ones he had stolen away. He hadn't been strong enough to protect the kid.

The sound of the door opening behind him shook Tony out of his thoughts and he ran a hand through his hair. Not today. He couldn't let himself get caught up in that today. He pulled in a breath that he hoped would steady him and stood, turning to see what was left of their invite list entering the small space along with a few more recent additions. Danvers, Nebula, the raccoon that Tony still couldn't remember the name of, and Steve Rogers. The last had been a begrudging addition to the roster. He hadn't spoken to him since he'd pushed the portable ARC reactor that stored his suit into Steve's hands and called him a liar.

"You planning on yelling at him until you collapse again?"

Tony turned to see Natasha Romanoff had broken away from the others. "Thinking about it, just without the collapsing part."

She looked him up and down. "You look better, but not toe-to-toe with Cap kind of better."

He huffed and caught her smile. They both knew he was all talk on it. They'd been down that road before and as good as it felt to take knock Captain America in his perfect teeth every now and again, it was his wedding day, and _technically_ he'd been invited. Pepper had said it would be cruel to leave him as the sole uninvited Avenger left, and it wasn't like either of them had thought Cap would show anyway. Apparently they'd been wrong.

"He does miss you."

"Why, because Wilson and Barnes got snapped away?"

"You two were friends once."

"Barely," Tony snapped and waved it off. "Next topic."

"Sooner or later you'll have to deal with it."

"Maybe. Probably not. I'm not coming back." He glanced back towards the group and wondered if Rogers had sent her in for this. No one else was joining them. "C'mon, Nat. It's my wedding day. Pick pretty much anything else."

There was a flash of mischief in her eyes and he saw her lips quirk up at the corners. "How about why you guys decided to jump on the wedding when last I heard you were barely leaving your bed."

"Excuse me for taking some time to recover from near death." She quirked an eyebrow at him and he knew that wasn't what she was getting out. How she'd gotten to the truth that he and Pepper hadn't let slip was beyond him though. He wasn't even sure she'd _seen_ Pepper, not that she was showing yet. "How -?"

"I know all," she answered cheekily, finally pulling the smallest of smiles from him. "Congratulations."

"Keep it to yourself. If Happy or Rhodey either one don't think they're the first to know, I'll never hear the end of it. 'Specially Hap."

Natasha flashed a grin. "What's it worth to you, Stark?"

"Call it a wedding present," he huffed, coupled with what he hoped was a more intimidating look than it really felt. Maybe it would have been to anyone else. For Natasha Romanoff, it only seemed to amuse her more.

If she'd planned on saying anymore more, though, she didn't get the chance. His friends - both former and current - had started to file in and find seats. The priest had taken his place at the front of the room and there was a shadow lingering just out of view of the doorway that Tony knew well.

"You ready, buddy?" Rhodey asked him, a hand on his shoulder and gently guiding him towards the front.

"Yeah… yeah. No. The ring."

"This ring?" his best friend asked with a grin and held it up.

"That's the one." He sucked in a deep breath, shaking his hands out and trying to regain some control. He had been mostly fine just a moment before, but suddenly, as things started barreling forward, he felt overwhelmed. All of his thoughts and emotions folded in on each other and made it difficult to work through them, muchless think. "Why am I so nervous?"

"Because you know who's about to walk through that door," Rhodey answered, finally getting him positioned where he needed to go. "And you know there ain't no way in the world you'd ever deserve her." Tony shot him a look. He wasn't wrong, but he didn't have to say it. Rhodey grinned. "But she loves you, and she said yes anyway. Gotta figure out how to do right by that now."

"Yeah," the younger man breathed softly as the shadow outside the door shortened and he saw Happy move to take Pepper's arm and escort her down the aisle. "Yeah."

"You did good, Tony."

Pepper met his eyes and Tony Stark was at a loss for words. All he could do was stare, her smile contagious as he he felt his own turn into a goofy grin that grew with each step she took. She'd said yes. Yes to marrying him. Yes to building a family with him. After Thanos he hadn't thought he would ever feel any sort of peace again, but it worked its way in and pushed the overwhelming grief aside at least for a moment. In that moment she was all he could see.

Pepper came to stand with him and the priest began speaking. Tony could hear the words, his brain processed them on a basic level, but his focus was locked on the beautiful woman in front of him. He saw her smile fade ever so slightly. "Tony?"

He blinked hard. Right. The priest had stopped and he was supposed to say something. He cleared his throat to try to find his voice to answer her. "Wow. Just….. wow."

Tony loved that smile she gave him. Part teasing, part exasperated, but most amused. Usually she swatted him, but Pepper had always managed to keep herself composed for the situation at hand. Not that this crowd would blink an eye if she smacked him.

"I know I'm supposed to have a whole thing prepared-"

"Vows?" she prompted and he heard Rhodey snort behind him.

"And I swear I did," he promised and that smile returned. "But right here, after everything they're just…" He shook his head. "I love you, Pep. You've put up with so much with me over the years, but… It's always been you and it's always gonna be you." He reached forward, his hand brushing hers and he pulled it up to press a kiss to her knuckles before slipping the ring into place. "Please don't change your mind?"

That pulled a laugh out of her. "I won't." She caught his hand as he dropped it and leaned forward, her forehead pressed against his. He closed his eyes. "I love you, Tony Stark," she breathed, moving to slide his new ring onto his finger. "For so long and through everything, I've never stopped. I've got you."

Tony's grin tugged back into place at the promise that had been a constant reminder since he'd come home. No matter what happened, they would face it together. The nightmares, the fears. They couldn't change the past, but together they could fight in a whole new way for their future.

The priest barely got through his _you may now kiss the bride_ before Tony ducked down, his arms around her waist and her hands sliding to the lapels on his jacket to pull him deeper into the kiss.

* * *

This had been the happiest she had seen him since he'd come home to her. From the moment she had started down the aisle to the the ring exchange where any pre-written vows had been tossed to the side for words that meant even more. Promises. Commitment.

Any thought of a short after party was quickly brushed aside as Tony said that they had somewhere to be. Happy had taken a cue and all Pepper could do was quirk an eyebrow at her new husband who offered her one of his more mischievous smiles. "One more surprise?" he asked, motioning to the car as Happy pulled it around.

She swallowed the argument and climbed into the car. "Will you tell me where we're going?"

"Nope," he answered, his voice strangely chipper as he scooted over so that he was sitting right next to her. She shook her head at the antics as he looped his arm through hers to pull her a little closer. She leaned in, pressing a kiss to his shoulder as they settled in for the ride.

Pepper watched the city fade to country and into a wooded area, Happy easily navigating the trip as if it wasn't his first time out to wherever it was they were heading. Finally they pulled to a stop at the bottom of a hill next to a lake and she shot Tony a questioning look. "I'm not exactly dressed for this."

"You'll be fine. Promise." He stepped out of the car and circled around. Pepper was already halfway out by the time he got there, but there was something sweet on the way he offered her a hand. Her finger brushed his wedding band and he didn't let go once she was out of the car.

"What are you up to?" she asked, her suspicion building on itself. A few years ago she might have thought he'd taken her all the way out there for a late afternoon jump in the lake, but those had been different times and there would have been easier ways to do it if that had been the goal.

"Come here," he urged, holding her hand to steady her on the dirt path that led to a cabin at the end of it.

"Tony, that's someone's house," she warned softly.

He didn't answer and she followed as well as she could in her heels, pulling the wedding dress up so she wouldn't snag it. There was a porch that wrapped around, newly remodeled, and Pepper's protests died as Tony led her up the steps. "You told me your family had a lake house when you were a kid, right?"

"We did," she answered slowly, watching him tap a code into the lockbox on the door. "Tony, what did you do….?"

"You told me it was the best memories you had with your family as a kid."

"You listened?" she teased.

"I listen!" he shot back, feigning hurt as he pushed the door open for her to walk in. "Found this place. It needed some work. Still does, but in another month or so it should be ready."

Pepper stepped inside, her gaze sweeping the beautiful woodwork. The stairs and the living room. The kitchen and the dining area. "Did you buy it?"

"We bought it," he countered.

"You really want to move out of the city? And in this direction?" They were nowhere near the Avengers compound. He'd said he didn't want to go back, but it wouldn't be the first time he'd made a decision out of pain or fear and circled back around to the suit. She loved him, and she wouldn't make it an ultimatum, but she'd nearly lost him too many times. If he kept pushing it, there'd be a day that his luck ran out and she didn't want to lose him. He'd given so much for the Avengers already.

He turned, blinking owlishly at her. "You said you wanted to downgrade."

"I did."

"Simplify."

"Yes, but you—"

"And in the chaos of your childhood, the lake house was a bright point. I thought we could, I don't know, start from there. Make it a launching pad for a really good home for our little guy. Or gal." He stopped and it took a moment for Pepper to turn and find that his gaze was locked on her. "Maybe?" he asked, his voice much more hesitant than it had been.

Pepper's lips tilted slowly and she moved towards him, ignoring the confused look he gave her as she reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his phone. It took half a moment for her to find the music she wanted and she set the phone on a nearby counter as she held out a hand to him. "We never got our first dance, Mr Stark."

"I think we can fix that, Mrs Stark," Tony answered with a grin. He took her hand and pulled her close, fingers ghosting down the backless dress as she leaned into him, swaying to the music.

"Thank you."

"For what? The house? It's-"

"For coming home to me."

He stopped, whatever he was going to say lost to the moment, and she felt his hold tighten ever so slightly around her as they danced.

* * *

**Notes**: Have I mentioned that I love these two? Because I love these two.

If all goes well I think the next installment may be Tony getting to be the doting husband while they try to get everything packed up to move while Pepper's pregnant. The fact that my own apartment is in the process of getting packed up for a move may be what's sparking the move fic... but hey, it fits? Maybe I can even manage all fluff without angst? We'll see. Might be a first :P


	3. Second Chance

**Summary:**

Tony's amusing attempts at packing up their condo take a turn when he finds a photo Pepper thought she'd already stored away.

**Part Three: Second Chance**

Tony had moved around a lot as a kid. His father had bounced them between New York, DC, and LA over the years, and he'd made the move by himself to Massachusetts at fourteen for MIT. He'd lived in so many houses and condos over the course of his childhood that he'd never really felt like one place was home, much less that any structure felt like much more than a roof over his head. Maybe that was why he had chosen to burrow down in his Malibu mansion for as long as he did. It was his design, his vanity project that he'd jumped all the way in on, and it had felt… safe. He had traveled the world, stayed at other properties that he owned, but there was something comforting about having a home base of sorts to go back to.

He had never considered himself a particularly sentimental man, but losing that home had been a hard blow. Harder than he would have expected it to be, but it had opened up the opportunity to make the cross country move that he had toyed with since building Stark Tower. He and Pepper had bought a condo - both names on the paperwork, and she hadn't wasted any time teasing him about owning twelve percent of it - and they had officially moved Stark Industries to the East Coast. He may not have designed this one in full, but it had been _theirs_ fully and completely. Even when she had kicked him out, angry and frustrated with him, and Tony had basically moved into the tower. Funny thing, he hadn't brought much with him. Maybe that's why Cap had completely missed the fact that Tony and Pepper had split ways.

She'd taken him back, though, and she'd agreed to marry him. Through the good and the bad, they'd built a home there together. They'd built _this_ home together. And now they would build a new one with their little guy or girl on their way.

"You know that I could-"

"Nope," Tony cut in, Pepper's voice pulling him out of his thoughts. She quirked an eyebrow at him from where she was seated, feet up in the comfiest chair they owned. He, on the other hand, had plopped himself down in the middle of the living room, boxes at every turn, and a small pile of breakables that he was wrapping up and putting away. "I've got this. You get to sit back and supervise."

"It's cute that you think I'd let you pack everything up without supervision. Or that you could."

"Rude."

Her lips quirked up at the corners. "Still true. I'm not sure you 've ever packed anything in your life."

Tony reached for a breakable. "There was that trip to Nice."

"Really? A three day trip is what you want to go with?"

"You didn't say there had to be a limit on it." There was something in the look she was giving him that made him feel like he'd just stepped in it.

"You are aware I repacked that bag, right?"

Tony snorted and held up her carefully wrapped trinket. "I think I'm doing okay."

Her smile only broadened, her voice teasing. "And I'm very proud of you, babe."

"You are _mean_ today," he groused and her laugh settled over him, tugging a smile of his own into place as he reached for the next object to wrap. He froze there, smile fading as his fingers tightening around the framed photo and he had to remind himself to breathe.

"Tony?" He could hear her start to stand, but couldn't bring himself to look at her. Instead his dark eyes were fixed on the goofy picture that he and Peter Parker had taken as part of the intern cover that had been meant to shield his Aunt May from finding out. They'd taken several, and none of them had turned out completely serious. At least half of them had caught Peter with his mouth open, talking and chattering about… something. Tony liked to talk, but that kid never seemed to take a breath of air. They had spent the whole day in cover mode, working their way through Stark Industry's corporate offices.

"Hey?" Pepper's soft voice cut through the memory and she touched his shoulder. "I thought I'd already packed that one."

He pulled in a deep breath, struggling to bring himself back under control. "It's fine. Needs to go with the other photos in the box."

His wife settled on the floor next to him, hand never leaving his arm as she did, but it finally dropped to his knee. "I know you don't like talking about it-"

"I really don't."

"-but you should. You've never really learned how to process grief-"

"Wow, thanks hon. Is this you being comforting?"

Pepper's grip on his knee tightened and he purses his lips together to let her finish. "Everyone's different, Tony, but I've watched you bury things for years and what it does to you. Your parents' death, you and your dad, New York…" He could feel his chest tightening up and she must have noticed the change. Her hand left his knee to find his own hand, fingers gentle as they took hold. "And now this. It eats you up and you… hyper focus on whatever's there to distract you." She glanced around at the half-boxed room as if making her point.

"You want me to hire movers to box everything? I'll hire movers. Done."

"I want you to give yourself time to mourn so that when our child gets here you're there for them. All the way there. Not like your dad was with you."

Tony blinked hard, realizing for the first time that the tears were building. He reached up to wipe at them, but Pepper beat him to it, thumbing away at the salty water streaking down his cheek. She leaned forward, the kiss gentle and encouraging, and it took a moment for him to push past his whirlwind of thoughts and emotions that were folding in and over each other so loudly that there might as well have been a hurricane inside of his head. She quieted it though. She always quieted it. "He was only there because of me."

"Peter?"

"Yeah."

"What happened?"

He cleared his throat and tightened his grip on her hand. "I tried to send him home, but the kid's stubborn…. _Was_ stubborn. He got inside the ship. I was so…. Hell, Pep, I yelled at him. Told him he hadn't thought it through. That it was….truth is _I_ didn't think it through." It wasn't that he hadn't known it, or that he didn't even know it as he had lectured the teenager for following him. He hadn't thought it through. There was a woman that loved him waiting on the ground and he'd hopped on board a spaceship with no exit strategy and no real plan. He would have lost them if he'd given himself time to come up with one, but that was beside the point…. And had been Pepper's exact point when he'd brought up kids that same day.

"Tony?"

His attention snapped back to her and she looked worried. "Yeah?"

"You were a long way away."

"Sorry."

"It's okay. I just… talk to me."

He looked at her for a long moment, focusing on her touch, on her eyes, and the support she was desperately trying to give him. Despite his flaws - and he knew they were numerous- she loved him. She was there for him. Slowly he let the story tumble out, the words forming and he busied his hands with wrapping up all of the other belongings that were in a pile and waiting to be packed. Pepper joined him in it, her focus on him as he talked through what had been their half hazard plan, how they had come across Nebula and her people, and how they had gone toe to toe with the Titan himself. About how Strange had given up the Time Stone that he had been so desperate to protect.

"Strange saved my life, but it cost Pete his. It cost… everyone."

"You said he could… what? See what would happen?" Pepper asked hesitantly.

"That's what he said. The whole _wizard_ thing is still kinda new."

Her expression softened at the flippant remark and he thought he saw the tiniest of her amused smiles flicker for half a moment. Then she caught his gaze and held it. "So there had to have been a reason, right?"

"Hell if I know what it was. We still lost."

"That isn't your fault."

He pushed a long breath out through his nose. "Maybe not."

Pepper rocked forward and Tony felt some of his tattered nerves ease just a little as she kissed him. "Thank you."

"For what?"

His wife smiled at him. "For talking to me. I can't fix what happened, but you don't have to go through it alone."

"I should just tell you everything, huh?"

That smile came back. "No more secrets and no more trying to do it on your own. I need you here with me. With _us_."

Tony nodded, gaze drifting to where Pepper was starting to show and all he could do was nod, his words running dry in his throat. She deserved the promise though. She deserved him to make good on it this time. Pepper deserves everything he was capable of giving her, and so did their kid. He might never be able to shake the guilt and the regret, but he had to find a way to move on from it. He tore off a section of bubble wrap, winding it around the photo. "We're lucky," he managed, voice scratchy with emotion. "I didn't know…. I got to come home to you. Lot of people didn't. We're lucky."

She reached up, her hand against his cheek and Tony turned into it to press a kiss to her palm. Years before he had promised not to waste one sacrifice to save his life. Now it had happened again, and no matter what Strange thought or had hoped for, Tony knew of at least two reasons right in front of him not to waste this second chance. He just had to focus on the good. Then, maybe, as time marched on and they could add those happy moments to their pile, they had to outweigh all the hurt. Someday.

* * *

**Notes**: I'm really interested in the process Tony must have come through to come to terms with everything that happened after the Snap. I think that, unlike his father, he was able to at least allow himself to be grateful for what he had rather than hyperfixating on what he'd lost and couldn't get back. For Howard it was Steve, who he spent the rest of his life searching for, and Tony could have become that very easily. He could have spent those five years chasing down every possibility that his clever mind could come up with, but he didn't. He focused on the family he had right then and there, and while it's clear he never stopped missing those they lost, he made sure to be there for Pepper and Morgan in a way that I don't think Howard was able to do in the end for him.


End file.
